Thoughts of an Author in Training
Growing up sucks, but there’s a balance between accepting it gracefully and denying it wholeheartedly. Just some observations from the what-not-to-do list of life lessons as you realize you’re an adult.
1.Cutting words in half when speaking aloud. Yeah, bro, that’s right we’re calling you out.
2. Trying to use acronyms that the generation before you use to communicate.
3. Doing drugs to impress people.
4. Getting wasted on a week day.
5. Staying up all night to do something. Watching Netflix for 12 hours seems a little mind-melting.
6. Drinking alcohol from the liquor store that’s served in a plastic container. Brunettes might look appealing but consider the unusually sour hangover the next day when drinking cheap liquor.
8. Fast food leftovers and containers scattered around your home.
9. Not paying bills on time.
10. Living with your parents. My parents want their freedom just as much as I do. They only signed up for 18 years, give them a break.
11. Not showering regularly.
12. Wearing underwear for multiple days in a row because you haven’t done laundry.
13. Not doing your own laundry.
14. Living off Ramen, Easy-Mac, Tortinos, or Hot Pockets. Your metabolism probably won’t agree with this combination. Cram some veggies in to your diet.
15. Binge snacking, eating a whole carton of ice cream, or stuffing your face and expecting to fit in your clothes the next day.
16. Hanging out at the mall.
18. Going after the College Freshman.
19. Not tipping when you go out to eat or drink.
20. Riding in the middle seat or bed of a pick-up truck. In other words riding bitch.
21. Asking your parents for money.
22. Spending your paycheck on a festival ticket.
23. Expecting to get everything you want, or that your goals will just happen without the effort. Wanting to be an author, but not writing.
24. Holding on to your Beanie Baby collection in hopes that they might be worth something one day. Keep them for the memories if you will, but don’t allude yourself in thinking they’re a get rich quick guarantee.
25. Dismissing advice from parents or elders. What they’re saying might actually make sense now that you’re not a crazy hormonal teenager.
Thomas Brath helped me compose this list and was inspired by Vice News. An independent media source that’s pretty awesome and entertaining.